Thursday 10 July 2014

Throwback Thursday!

When I was 22 I crossed 'shave my head' off my bucket list. 



 I started dying my hair when I was 15. Purple, then black, then brown, red, bright pink! Black again, orange, green(by accident!), blue, blonde, every color you can imagine, until my hair was so badly fried that it looked and felt like wool. Run your hands through it and you'd pull out strands of multicolor grossness.

I had cut it short a few times and tried to stick with just one color but by the time 
it grows out you forget about how awful it really was and that Stargazer Shocking Pink is just too damn tempting when you're bored with your look!


I'd thought a lot about shaving my head. It was something I'd always wanted to try but you never know if you can pull it off until you've tried it. I've never been the kind of girl who cares much about how long it's taken to grow hair out and to be honest the longer my hair grows the more I hate it!
The upkeep is too much of a hassle.
It blows into my mouth on windy days.
Somehow it always finds its way into my mouth while I'm eating.
It wraps around my neck while I sleep and tickles the boyfriend's nose when we spoon and really, what's the point of growing it out when I wear it in a braid or pony tail all the time?


So it's not like I was emotionally attached to my hair but there's still this sense of safety in keeping it. It's a nice, soft and warm hiding place and when you shave it all off you expose yourself and that was the part that scared me. I knew that among my friends, a group of girly girls with long shiny hair, I was definitely going to stand out if I did this and I've never really been an attention seeker. Yes, I had every color of the rainbow on my head at one point or another but that attention is different. There is a very clear motive in dying your hair blue while shaving it isn't as clear of a statement. After I shaved my head I had a lot of people come up to me and ask me why I did it. I went to the hospital for a blood test shortly afterward and an old woman gave me this pitying look thinking I was very sick, it made me feel awful! A few weeks later a girl came up to me at a party, stroked my head and asked if I used to have dreadlocks.
I don't think I've ever had a haircut that warranted as much explanation as this one.




I took so much comfort in hiding behind hair that I had to ease into shaving it all off. For the first two or three weeks I had a bright pink mohawk which I then cut off. I then wore hats constantly for a few more weeks until it got too warm. It took a little getting used to but eventually I grew to love not feeling like my head was on fire in the summer sun. I saved so much money on shampoo and time not drying my hair that I was tempted to keep it short.
From time to time I still consider doing it again.  




Tuesday 1 July 2014

Rainy Tuesday

Hello lovelies!
I've been so busy pretending to be busy that I've completely neglected this blog!
I finished makeup school and I can't wait to start working but until I can start full time(because who is going to hire a person with hardly any experience for a few impractical hours a day?) I'm stuck being a stay at home mom/housewife. It's great, don't get me wrong! Spending time with the little one and having free time is fantastic but the isolation and monotony are sort of tiresome.
To occupy myself I've been baking insane amounts of cupcakes and bread, mastering my ancient coffee maker and trying to make the apartment look habitable. So, no real makeup related work but hopefully that'll change.
 I'm doing makeup for a photo shoot on Thursday with a photographer I've admired for a while now so I'm super excited and will post pictures as soon as I can, but for now I leave you with a few makeup of the day looks.
I'm a bit obsessed with Lancome's Ombre Hypnose Mono eyeshadow in beige, I use it with Maybelline ExpertWear in Made for mocha in the crease and then maybe a pop of colour on my lower lash line. It's been my go-to look for the past few weeks because it's easy and fun and I can do it with or without eyeliner depending on my mood or what I'm doing that day.

eyeliner from e.l.f. and lipstick is Bourjois Orange Apprete
e.l.f. eyeliner again, bronzer from the Body Shop cat is cat.
eyeliner and individual lashes from e.l.f. 

Friday 7 March 2014

TGIF

Instagram post! I've had a strange and emotional two weeks but here's some things that helped me through them, momentarily cheered me up or, I don't know... I liked the look of. 

Hot tea and the gorgeous view from our apartment A super hot bubble bath at the end of a rough day, I just love the shape of our tub! I love this mug more than could be considered healthy! Meet Henrietta, my tiny tortie! She loves cuddles, tuna and staring at people in the bath. Dislikes: strangers, hairballs and noise. And finally a strangely thin-lipped, jowl-y selfie because reasons.

Wednesday 26 February 2014

Wednesday

Isn't it just hilarious how one day things seem to be working out great and you feel so pleased with how the future looks, so proud of yourself and you just can't wait to see what happens next and then BAM, someone flips a switch somewhere and suddenly you just stop functioning? Social interaction, hygiene, health, even just getting out of bed in the morning becomes unbearable. 
Living, in general, becomes this burden you're forced to deal with instead of the wonderful, happy experience it has been in the past. 

This has been happening my whole life but it was only a year and a half ago my doctor finally told me why, when I was finally diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I don't like openly talking about this because it's so hard to explain to people who have never lived it, they ask all these questions about it and I can't even really describe what I'm feeling so how can I expect them to understand? And they become so frustrated with me when the bad times drag on and on which is completely understandable because so do I... I want so badly to be able to flip the switch back and I know there are ways but after dealing with depression with hardly any help for my entire life it's hard to get into the habits. The "right" ways to keep the downward spiral from happening is a way of life, not a quick fix, and while I have gotten so much better than I used to be I still have days where I don't function. I can't do a complete 180° over night and suddenly become a fully functional adult human being, it takes baby steps, but I've come such a long way! 

Now that I am doing way more than I used to, life hits me with all these new problems. Back in the day I didn't function socially at all, I slept 16 hours a day and spent the rest of the time online or eating or cutting myself. Having to hide the fact that I was stuck in a depressive period wasn't a real issue. 
Now, I don't know if I should be open and honest about it with the people I'm around, be they friends or coworkers, or hide it to not have to deal with the questions and prejudice, I just know I have to find ways to deal because closing myself off until it passes isn't an option. 
I have called in sick because I couldn't stop crying and it's just not a constructive habit.  

I've been in a funk the past two days, culminating in a rush of emotion(oh, hey, I'm feeling again!) that left me crying like a little girl for half an hour and now I'm just not sure how to feel or what to do next...? So naturally, my first instinct is to blog. 
What. 

Oh, but to keep with the theme of what my blog is all about, here's a photo of the one human being who has inspired me the most, in the 14 months since she was born she has been through so much but has smiled through everything and I refuse to let my illness break her spirit! She is the reason I get up in the morning and my inspiration to turn my life around, to be a good role model for her and give her the care she needs. 


Yay for being extra sappy! 

Sunday 9 February 2014

Sunday

Ice, ice, baby




This morning was too lovely to stay inside so I put the spikes on my shoes down and went for a walk. The air was crisp and the sun blinding, spring is in the air! For now, at least...

Saturday 8 February 2014

Saturday morning

Pretty as it may be, I really hate snow.
This was the view out my window one morning, and then some slightly less gloomy ones from a snowy walk last year.





Friday 7 February 2014

friday night

This is my idea of a Friday night; starting a new blog while sleep deprived and slightly tipsy, pretending I'm all cool and fashionable and Reykjavík-ian when really? I'm wearing a pony tail on the top of my head and the biggest sweatpants I could find in the world pulled as high as they'll go. I'm 25 with the body of a 50 year old, partly from having gone through childbirth but also because I'm lazy as hell. That's actually part of the reason I'm starting this blog, as a sort of kick-in-the-butt to become more active, to go out and take pretty pictures to post, to do my hair and dress nicely, all that stuff. 
So. 
I'm Siggah, mother and awful housewife - studying to become a makeup artist. 
This is the face I make while being a pale weirdo: 


Is this a sufficiently awkward first post? Good. More tomorrow when I have brains.